Remember The Truth Of Who You Are
What is the outcome of the marvelous technological advances in today’s modern society? We live extremely fast-paced lives – in fact, many of us struggle to keep up with everything we need or desire to do. Our cell phones allow instant access to each other, as well as a constant inflow of digital information. At the touch of a button or swipe of a finger we are inundated with ways we can (and we’re told we should) look better, eat better, feel better and work smarter. Physical images bombard our electronic devices and our psyches. We watch videos of people purportedly living lives we can only imagine living, leaving many people feeling inadequate and alone. What most people don’t realize is that much of what we see (similarly to “reality TV”) is an illusion.
This age of information is here to stay and people may continue to posture in ways that are not authentic. How do we feel good enough when we compare ourselves to seemingly perfect people? How can we find peace and calm in an otherwise chaotic world? How do we find love in the two-dimensional world that takes two seconds to swipe left?
“You rarely have time for everything you want in this life,
so you need to make choices.
And hopefully your choices can come from a deep sense of
who you are.”
~ Fred Rogers
Fred Rogers, aka Mr. Rogers, is one of my heroes. He was a man who believed that validating children’s feelings was the most important way for them to make sense of their world and themselves. All too often however, children were raised to ignore their feelings because it brought up uncomfortable feelings within their parents. I truly believe our parents did the best they could with the level of self-love they felt. If you are struggling with feeling (mostly) unconditional love for your imperfect parents, I offer a resolution: we can absolutely self-heal our present lives from the residual effects of our past experiences.
How?
By remembering the truth of who you are.
Every single person on the planet has worth. You are worthy exactly as you are and simply because you exist. You matter in the world and the world is a better place because you are in it. The reason people suffer; the reason people cause problems for themselves and for others; the reason we blame each other; the reason we hide from intimacy; the reason we judge others and fear judgment; the reason we give too much of ourselves; the reason we live in fear, anger, and resentment; comes down to two beliefs: we do not feel worthy and we do not feel lovable.
Guess what? If you feel unworthy and unlovable it is not because there is anything wrong with you. Not at all! It is only because you do not remember the truth of who you are. Most importantly, the “you” I’m talking about isn’t the adult you that is reading this information right now. The “you” I’m speaking of is the “little you” that experienced and survived your childhood. Whether we experienced trauma growing up, or an upbringing that didn’t fully honor us and our feelings, we begin to self-heal by acknowledging that our past experiences created beliefs about ourselves that tend not to be true! Typically, children conclude deficiencies within themselves as the cause of their parents’ behavior (either toward themselves or in general). Most kids won’t blame their parents or caregivers when they experience challenging, disconnected, or even abusive behavior from them. Instead, children internalize blame and perceive these experiences as validation of their feelings of unworthiness. This “truth” shapes the way in which many of us grow into adulthood with self-beliefs that sabotage our health, happiness, and relationships.
We often see the results of these beliefs when we partner with another person. Our relationships provide sacred healing when our beloveds mirror behavior back to us. When we detach from and avoid personalizing someone else’s behavior, we begin to self-heal by connecting the choices we make as adults with the unresolved emotional issues we experienced as children (and imported into our present lives).
Are you ready to discover how you can bridge the gap between understanding this concept and applying it to your own experiences?
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