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“It’s up to me…”

By Stephanie Kato, Metaphysical Intuitive Healer

When working with a client my intention is always on empowerment of self. This is what I mean: we are individually responsible for ourselves and our lives. We have a hand in what we attract into our lives, the way our bodies function, the amount of happiness we feel and the choices we make. We learn through our experiences so there are no “good” or “bad” choices. Let’s take the judgment out of it and choose to look at every experience as an opportunity to understand ourselves a little (or a lot) better. Doesn’t that feel better? It’s the truth! Adopting this perspective allows us to take the hammer out of our hands so we can stop beating ourselves up for simply being human and having human experiences. How many times have you said to yourself “I’m not going to make that mistake again”? Sometimes we don’t and sometimes we do. If we continue making a “mistake” doesn’t it mean we need additional information as we learn who we are and how we want to live? Adding guilt and regret to already complex and challenging lives only prolongs the beautiful and meaningful lessons we are learning. Let go of the self-blame and judgment. We are human and it’s all ok. We learn at the rate we need and no one else can determine that. It’s healthy to look at it from this perspective. Think about the physical issues (digestive, heart, throat) we manifest from emotions arising out of being hard on ourselves for making choices we actually need to grow.

“It’s up to me if I choose to let myself off the hook for being human.”


When a client asks me “When should I come back?” I ask them to close their eyes, take a breath and ask their body. Their body always gives them the correct answer. What does this tell us?

  1. Everything we need to know lives inside of us. We need only inquire within.
  2. We know better than anyone else what we need. What stops people from trusting themselves is the fear that they cannot trust themselves.
  3. Making the choice to trust who we are and what we need despite having experiences that might speak to the contrary is the first step to gaining internal power over our lives. Think back to an experience that you now know was not in your best interest. More than likely you needed that experience to help you get to where and who you are today. That’s the irony: it may have seemed not to have been in your best interest but you needed it, so ultimately it was…at the time.
  4. It’s up to you whether you choose to view past experiences from the perspective of gratitude or self-loathing. Which choice will make you stronger? Which choice is the truth?

“It’s up to me to choose a perspective that will strengthen and encourage me.”


Do you know what the greatest thing about choices are? We can always change our mind and make a new choice! If you are heading down a path and you realize it isn’t the right one for where you need to go, turn around. You are only responsible for yourself and you don’t owe anyone anything. If something isn’t working for you, you have the power to speak up and speak your truth. Learn to use the word “no” without guilt. I notice that some people (especially women) have trouble holding strong boundaries without feeling guilty, and this attitude tends to show up with family obligations. Wouldn’t it be more meaningful if we lead with our truth and showed up because we wanted to instead of having to? Which would feel more loving to both you and the other person? I understand this is easier said than done but:

  1. Who said easier is better?
  2. What would be more honest?
  3. If you held stronger boundaries could this open up meaningful conversations between you and the other person and potentially free you both?

“It’s up to me to speak my truth and lead from a truly loving place

instead of an obligatory one.”


Even though your life choices are up to you, you don’t need to go it alone. Call on your support team to help you – partners, friends, family, therapists, healers, and pets. Connect with others who give you a sense of strength and encouragement. Don’t forget about your spiritual guides as well. Whatever you believe in and trust spiritually be sure to ask for guidance and help every day. I do this regularly and I don’t need to figure anything out anymore. I connect in and ask for guidance and it’s so comforting to hear the answers to my questions. Practicing inclusion this way helps me to avoid feeling scared or lonely. Having felt lonely for much of my younger life, that feeling has literally dissipated since connecting with my spiritual guides. For some this will mean different things (Universe, God, Divine, Source, Higher Power, Higher Self) and that is really up to you.

“It’s up to me to choose a spiritual connection for guidance and help.”


Our bodies resemble our cars. We can choose to keep it clean and tidy, buy cheap or high quality fuel, keep our fluid levels appropriate and take it out for a spin to keep everything operating at its peak. How do you care for your body? Since self-care requires time and effort do you feel worthy enough to clean your body, eat well, hydrate and exercise? If not, making internal inquiries would be a helpful place to start. Sometimes committing to taking better care of yourself is the impetus needed to keep going and gain the self-love and self-compassion necessary to attain and maintain good health.

“It’s up to me to create the willingness to embrace and express self-love.”